Tag Archives: self esteem

Parental Alienation is TRAUMA


Losing A Parent is Childhood Trauma

The popular press has reported many stories about adults who suddenly remember having been abused as children. Some media reports have emphasized the unusual circumstances or content of such recovered memories while other reports have declared that the “recovery” of memories of abuse is false for a variety of reasons. Little in the press, however, has dealt with the science relating to memories of childhood trauma. 

The International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies

is working on life affecting issues arising from trauma exposure of many origins.  According to their research memories can not only be false, but they can be planted by others!

Q: Are Recovered Memories Always Accurate?

Scientists believe that recovered memories – including recovered memories of childhood trauma – are not always accurate. When people remember childhood trauma and later say their memory was wrong, there is no way to know which memory was accurate – the one that claims the trauma happened or the one that claims it did not.

Q: How Might False Memories Develop?

A great deal of laboratory research involving normal people in everyday situations demonstrates that memory is not perfect. Evidence shows that memory can be influenced by other people and situations; that people can make up stories to fill in memory gaps, and that people can be persuaded to believe they heard, saw or experienced events that did not really happen. Studies also reveal that people who have inaccurate memories can strongly believe they are true.

Sad man in space
Alone in Space

 

Q: Is it Possible to Forget Childhood Trauma?

People forget names, dates, faces and even entire events all the time. But is it possible to forget terrible experiences such as being raped? Or beaten? The answer is yes – under certain circumstances. For more than a hundred years, doctors, scientists and other observers have reported the connection between trauma and forgetting. But only in the past 10 years have scientific studies demonstrated a connection between childhood trauma and amnesia.

Most scientists agree that memories from infancy and early childhood – under the age of two or three – are unlikely to be remembered. Research shows that many adults who remember being sexually abused as children experienced a period when they did not remember the abuse. Scientists also have studied child victims at the time of a documented traumatic event, such as sexual abuse, and then measured how often the victims forget these events as they become adults. They discovered that some people do forget the traumatic experiences they had in childhood, even though it was established fact that the traumatic events occurred.

Q: What Makes People Remember a Traumatic Event after Such a Long Delay?

At the time of a traumatic event, the mind makes many associations with the feelings, sights, sounds, smells, taste and touch connected with the trauma. Later, similar sensations may trigger a memory of the event. While some people first remember past traumatic events during therapy, most people begin having traumatic memories out side therapy.

A variety of experiences can trigger the recall. Reading stories about other people’s trauma, watching television programs that depict traumatic events similar to the viewer’s past ex perience, experiencing a disturbing event in the present, or sitting down with family and reminiscing about a terrible shared episode – for some people, these kinds of experiences can open the floodgates of frightful and horrible memories.

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My Nightmare… April 16, 2016


Dear God 1


April 16, 2016

Believing it to be the day of catastrophe in America a Mother, estranged from her 4 beloved children sent a group text to all four. “My wonderful children” she wrote. “I want you to know that I love you all no matter what, and I always will, no matter what. With deep love, Mommy”.
Within a minute 2 of her children replied expressing their love and forgiveness of past events, while the other two remained silent after reading her declaration of love for them, their hearts so filled with anger and their minds so filled with hate as a direct result of parental alienation caused in part by their father, grandmother and other family members, that they knew their silence would wound their estranged mother again. And so, willfully, and stubbornly they remained silent not telling their mother that they had any feelings for her at all. Their last thoughts were of anger toward her as the explosion rocked North America Killing most of it’s inhabitants almost instantly.
Time doesn’t exist in Heaven or Hell. The time it took to sort out the casualties of this terrible mass death may have been a blink of an eye or taken years, who knows.
As it turned out the forgiveness given to their mother by the first two children meant they would spend eternity in heaven. The hate of silence the other two showed their mother left them in hell.

I guess that left the mother …


I’m divorced since 10/2002. I was with my former for 16 years. In 2 years my time with him will be as long as my absence from him; by now I think that I should be able to function somewhat normally on a day to day basis, but that simply isn’t the case. .

People say, Give them time, they will figure it out, they will come around… that has not been MY EXPERIENCE.

How much longer will I feel this pain? My mother says that I need to move on, for my future and sanity; logically this is correct but I have told you all I can no more forget any of my children than I could cut off my own arm.

I know the guy in the movie ‘128 Hours’ did cut off his own upper arm in order to survive but the rocks he was stuck amongst didn’t call him from time to time, or talk trash about him to people who then repeated the terrible things, still being said about you 14 years later, to you because they felt ‘YOU SHOULD KNOW’…   Most recently I was told my ex told my grandaughter’s daddy that my current husband and I were having an affair when I was married to my ex… Lies, I never met my current hubby till 2/17/08. How do you fight lies like this?

I’m dying a little every day. I need help and I don’t know where to turn. I am so worried about all of my Children’s life as adults. I’m so depressed. Leah

A Child’s Perspective


DECEMBER 5, 2015 /                     DBKERR visit Her
Daddy rages, Mommy cries,
What about me?
the little child sighs.

No home for my own
yet I have two.
Never alone
but always lonely.
Mourning for one
while with the other.
Never enjoying
without feeling guilt.

I have my spaces.
My objects surround me,
yet I can’t remember
where my teddy bear is.
Is it here or there?

I want two kisses goodnight
from two people –
not the bemused, exhausted
brush of one’s lips
on my brow.

No one asked me
when the choice was made.
I got the leftovers.

Small wonder I am scared,
so angry I want nothing more
than to strike out
at the ones I love most.
Hear me . . .
when can I speak?

yet I can’t remember
where my teddy bear is.
Is it here or there

259ABB7E00000578-0-image-a-7_1423749270778

old letter from my daughter Charlene


7/27/04

Hey mommy

well lol I didnt read that whole thing ebfore I sent it out to everyone on my mailing list, and I read what Bryan Duvall wrote back and I knew that only you and him had wrote back so I was like wow I wonder what my mom had to say about that! lol but yeah lol sorry about that, I sent it to a bunch of girls too now their all gonna think Im a lesbian or something.  I was telling her how dad is geting my Birkenstocks from Germany and she But they are like mad comfortable so now everyone wears them! lol espically all the popular kids. Anyways I am about to go to the mall, and I am so mad bc I have to get new bras and stuff but dad isnt here to pay for anything bc he is in Germany I am so mad. I have to wait till probably Saturday. AUGH anways g2g Im getting yelled at

love

~cc~
01.Who are you, what’s our relationship?: Mother / Daughter
02. How and where did we meet?: On the day you were born, you were a HUGE pain in my (arse)
03. What’s my middle name?: Francess
04. How long have you known me?: All your Life
05. Tell me one good thing about myself?: You are the most caring person I ever met.
06. When you first saw me, what was your impression?: YIPPEE!
07. My age: 15 (going on 25)
08. Birthday: 10/xx (I tried to hold out till Haloween, but you were not agreable)
09. My favorite band at the moment: From your e-mail Probably Blink 182
10. Colour eyes: Beautiful Blue
11. Do I have any siblings?: Yeah, I was there when they were born too.
12. Have you ever had a crush on me?: He he he he You crack me up!
13. What’s one of my favorite things to do?: clean house and change diapers? (Just kidding) Go to the Mall and hang out with friends.
14. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you?: “Waaa waaa!” The first real word was “Dad”
15. Describe me in 3 words: Love, Joy, Gentleness.
16. Name 5 things I love: Dad, Mom, Libby, Wanda, Danny, Libby, and Jessie.
17. Do you think I’m good looking?: Of course!
18. How would you describe me to someone?: This is my daughter, she is a beautiful person.
19. Would you ever date me?: Umm, no. But I’d chaperone.
20. Tell me one thing you’ve always wanted to say but never did: I have always said what ever needed to be said, and sometimes that was hard to do.
21: What do you like most about me?: You are my daughter.
22: If we could spend a day together, what would we do?: Talk, go to the movies, eat at a restraunt, and listen to music or watch TV.
23: Have we ever gotten in a fight?: You are kidding, right?
24: Do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years?: We will always be friends, because I will love you forever.
25. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it: Bongo-butt because your butt was so pattable when you were a baby.
26. What do you think my weakness is?: You are very stubborn at times.
27. Do you think I’ll get married?: Yes, and probablly too soon for me.
28. What makes me happy?: Being given freedom. Time to relax.
29. What makes me sad?: Not getting your way.
30. What reminds you of me?: Everything that is good in the world.
31. If you could give me anything, what would it be?: Perfect Vision.
32. When’s the last time you saw me?: Just after Christmas (And it was way too long ago). But I saw your photo a few seconds ago.
33. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?: Our friendship will get stronger over time.
34. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?: Yes, that is another great quality you have.
35. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?: Haven’t got one.
36. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?: Strawberry. Because it is fresh, and sweet.
37. What song (if any) reminds you of me?: “Only You” because when you were about 2 you used to sing it and pucker your lips up for the “Youuuuuu” parts (so cute!)
38. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?: I would make you love to learn things.
39. Would you make a move on me?: Oh My Gosh! I am your Mom, silly!
40. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day? At least a thousand times a day.

I love you.

Mom

I am an alienated child.


Sad man in space
Alone in Space

I don’t want to wait that long to see them again

Karen Woodall

I am an alienated child, I am sure of myself and the world that I live in, I know what is true and what is not and I have been told many stories about you from the past as well as the present.  When you try to tell me that what I believe is wrong I know that this is confirmation of everything they say about you, you are tricking me, you are trying to control me, you are dangerous to me and those who love me.

I am an alienated child, I am self righteous and indignant if anyone dares to suggest that what I know to be true is wrong.  I will not listen to you or to anyone who tries to stand up for you, I will cut out of my life in a second the people who do not agree with my point of view.

I…

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