Tag Archives: ParentalAlienationSyndrome

Finally A Chance To Be Heard


MainStreamMedia Wants to Hear about Your Case!

CALLING All Women Whose Kids Were Taken Away & Given to Fathers: MainStreamMedia (MSM) Is Listening!

Many National Mainstream Media Investigative Journalists, both TV and print, have recently contacted Cindy Dumas, Director of The Women’s Coalition, about the epidemic of children taken from women and given to fathers, many of whom are physically or sexually abusive.

MSM wants to know the extent of the crisis so this social media event has been set up for all women to get their voices heard. Editors, reporters and producers will be reading the posts and comments so please let them know how this has negatively impacted your life!

There are three ways you can participate:
1. Join the event and post about your case.
2. Comment, Like and SHARE posts
3. Send an email to

email: TheWomensCoalitionPAC@gmail.com

 with a one page or less summary of your case. Put MSM in the subject line. [TWC will keep name confidential if it is requested.]

NOTE: It can be very brief if you’re short on time, something like:
“I am my children’s primary bond, but they were taken away from me when they were 8 and 10 and sole custody was given to the father who was abusive to them. I have been restricted to supervised visits and have been bankrupted fighting for them. We have been destroyed by the system.”
If you sent one for the UN Complaint, you can use that summary.
If you want anonymity TWC will post it for you.
Use a photo for more impact.

WHO should participate: Any woman who was the primary nurturer of her child(ren) and lost primary custody to a father (whether he was abusive or not)–even if joint custody was awarded–without a fair hearing.

NOTE: One journalist is especially interested in Massachusetts cases and two are especially interested in cases where the mothers went into hiding.

ONE PAGE SUMMARY (optional):
• You were/are the primary nurturing parent
• How many children were taken
• What false accusations were used
• What kind of visitation you got, if any
• How long you went without seeing your kids
• What kind of abuse was involved, if any
• Whether your evidence was covered up or disregarded
• Whether you were coerced into silence; by whom
• Which officials involved: DA’s, law enforcement, social services, family court officials, psychologists, therapists, etc. (names optional);
• Whether you/your kids suffered trauma symptoms
• Whether you were financially devastated
• Whether your career was damaged or destroyed
• How you feel about what was done to you and your children

Please SHARE this event so MSM is deluged with cases!!

(bloggers opinion, this should be an issue of injustice regardless of sex)

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I AM THE ALIENATOR


I AM THE ALIENATOR
by Karen Woodall

I am an alienator. You know me well. You lived with me once and you witnessed my behavior patterns but you did not spend time studying and internalizing them. I know your behavior patterns better than you know them yourself. I know how to measure you, test you and control you. I know what your hooks are and I know that the depth of the love for your children is a weakness I can exploit. I am an emotional terrorist. I will terrify you into submission. You will do as I tell you to do, if you do not, I will take your children away.

I am an alienator, you didn’t notice that when we lived together but I began my work long before we went our separate ways. I created fissures and fractures within our family and I managed and manipulated reality, though for a long time you did not notice that.

I am an alienator, at times in the past you felt a chill wind blow through you when my moods changed as I raged and then sweet talked you to smooth the ripples in your growing awareness. My mind is distorted but the projection of shadows causes you to believe it is yours which has failed you. Eventually you came to believe that it was you and not I who was crazy. You shivered as I turned down the gas light.

When you appeal to the outside world for assistance I will turn my most charming face to the sun and open my arms wide and beseech them to believe that I only want the best for my children. I will widen my eyes and up turn my palms and say ‘what can I do when they don’t want to see you’ and suck into my airspace all those who attempt to bring change to the lives of the weapons I know I can use.

My children are assets, collateral, extensions of plans that I make to wreak my revenge upon people who challenge my views or attempt to remove the control that I have in my life.

My children are satellites orbiting sunshine coming only from me – you could never compete with the warmth that I wind around each of their hearts so that only my love is enough; making yours surplus, not needed, discarded like clothes that you bought and I won’t let them wear.

I am all that they need.

You are not.

When our love ended my rage recruited our children to a campaign of
revenge that joins us together against you.

In my mind your betrayal awakened the traumas of people long dead and ignited the fuse that lead to the bomb that blew up our lives. Now, the souls of our children are hostage to wrongs which come howling from hell and you are helpless to hold back the tide which will sweep you and they to the death that is living with losing your children whilst they are still breathing. Your loss not mine which you and not I will have to survive.
Sometimes you mirror me, two perfect projections that weave webs of destruction that sever our children in two, one side light, one side dark, you there in the shadows.

But mostly it is because I cannot see my behaviours, I am blind to the sight of myself in the mirror. The only reflection I need is the love of my children to feed me and give me a sense of my self which I lost even before I was born.

I am the alienator, annihilator, terminator. My aim is to end, by fair means or foul, your place in the hearts and the lives of your children.
I am easily spotted by those who know me but invisible to those who do not. You will spend your time, your energy and money telling them I am behind this whilst I smile and continue to shred the trust our children once held in you. I am an alienator even when I do not know it and the failure to see the shadows I cast in the projections I throw onto you, is the fault of a system so blinded by bias it is frozen like the minds of our children, the children being harmed right under the noses of those who should know how to help them but sadly, do not.

In the plain sight of you and of them, the lives of the children you love are stolen, erased and extinguished.

And your anguish and pain are the gifts that I treasure.

And your suffering compensates for the things I perceive you to have done.

And whilst chaos reigns and the system colludes with my delusions, the power I seek remains mine.

Along with the children.

Whose eyes are wide open but able to see nothing at all.

An Open Letter to My Children’s Stepmother


  • * * * UPDATE to My Readers * * *
  • I recently wrote a private letter to the Stepmother asking her if we could bury the hatchet now that I am frequently invited to Al. to see my granddaughter. I have had no reply, I assume that means no.
  • I posted a link in the step-parents area at reddit/divorce and I was shocked to have such negative feedback.  People telling me to remain out of my newly reunited, adult children’s lives and to leave SM alone.  I just DON’T understand WHY people can’t get along?  Why does it have to be ONLY her, and how could she really hate a person she has never taken 10 minutes to know?
  • I really am struggling with these questions because I want to be able to attend future events, weddings, christenings, Holy Communion, all of it. I do not want my kids to have to pick one of us, we are adults and I feel we should be able to be in the same room civilly, for the KIDS!  Please post new thoughts below…
  • Here is the Reddit link:
  • https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/comments/3joe7y/letter_to_stepmom_falls_on_deaf_ears_i_want_to/

 

Dear Jill,
Although we have never spent any time together I believe that you and I COULD become friendly, if not friends.

First off; let me again express my gratitude to you for guiding my children into adulthood. I honestly believe that without your influence they would not have achieved so much. I can’t thank you enough for loving them. Sincere, heartfelt THANKS!

Now I need to address some issues that I feel we, yes, you and I TOGETHER, need to come to terms with.

The number one thing that Wanda told me you said about me that really hurt my feelings was, “anybody can spit out four kids”. I have serious issues with that statement because it is a falsehood number one; because the children are mine, they are NOT your flesh and blood. Yes, you were there for them the past 7 years or so, but that doesn’t make them your children. It makes the children your family, people you love and people you are partially responsible for, still they will always be 50% of my genetic code and no matter how much you love them you can’t replace me. You can’t change their genetic make-up and as much as I believe you wish you could erase all traces of me from them, you can’t. I suggest that you come to terms with this and try to comprehend the special bond of mother and child which I have observed to remain intact even when a child is separated from their biological mother from birth.
Allow me to give you an example from my own life. You may not know this about me but I was adopted. I had a burning desire to find my biological family, my roots, at a very young age. To that end I began adoption research at the age of 15. I spent countless hours scouring records of “Chattle” (yes, sickening that Arizona used a livestock sales column to post adoption announcements) helping so many other people in the Az Search Triad, but never successfully locating my own announcement.
After Charlene was born I became obsessed really with locating my birth mother, and after much research I finally found her.
What she experienced the day I called her for the first time clearly demonstrates the connection between mother and child that remans unbroken through time.

My birth mother, June, (Wanda June is named after both Chuck’s mother and my birth mother) is the type of woman who’s only idle time is when she is asleep. She never really stops doing. The day I first called her was one of the rare moments in her life where she simply paused, by the telephone no less, in certain anticipation of a call from a daughter she had never met. Call it a psychic connection, a twinned cell, or, as I believe, a blood bond, she knew the baby she placed for adoption was going to call her that day and she was ready.

Jill I am not telling you this to make a comparison between the love our children have for mother or step mother. I trying desperately to explain that EVERYONE in this family will be far better off with more love rather than more pain. I would never force my children to choose between you and I, not for fear of the outcome, but because it is simply UNNECESSARY for them to make any such choice.

Now Jill, my children are almost all adults and I realize that they can decide never to speak to me again. How do you think they will feel when they have their own children and become aware of the deception and mean-spirited tactics that have pushed me away since the moment you became an important part of their lives? Do you believe that they will overlook the awful things you and Robin have said about me over the years?

I am betting adulthood will open their eyes to just how mean you have been to me. I HONESTLY Hope they don’t become so angry with you for the accusations, the not telling them I called, wrote, or flew 1200 miles to see them only to be threatened by you with trespass charges if I didn’t leave. Jill, as deeply as you have hurt me, I don’t wish this pain upon you.

I think of ALL of you everyday and while sometimes I am filled with pain, which ultimately leads to anger, for the most part I think of you fondly. I imagine you teaching Wanda to read music, encouraging Daniel to pursue drama, and holding the grandchildren I will never hold, with the love and adoration they clearly deserve. I imagine the pain you feel, as I once felt, being ignored intimately by a man who was sadly taught that sexual intercourse was something women despised, and that showing affection or being publicly affectionate was inappropriate even for man and wife. I imagine you crying alone realizing they will soon be gone and that even though you are married to a great guy, you will soon be very lonely.

Jill, I will always welcome any positive relationship with you. I would be able to overcome the painful past if you would simply reach out in sincere friendship to me. We have much in common, my kids have told me this time and again. I was told by Daniel that I left hurtful messages on your answering machine for you. I honestly do not recall trying to be hurtful towards you; yet I know that when I am in pain I can be very mean. I know this sounds like I am making excuses, I am not. There is no excuse if I hurt you; and if I did I am truly sorry. Please find it in your heart to forgive me.

Jill, please, I am begging you to start to TRY to add me to your life.

Whatever your choice, I wish you well.

Sincerely,
Leah

Begin Chinese

我的孩子的继母的公开信

指控应对离婚戏剧字母父母的疏远步父母公婆的作用兄弟姐妹的作用车削家长反对孩子

亲爱的建筑业,
虽然我们永远不会花任何时间在一起,我相信你和我能变得友好,如果不是朋友。

第一关 ;让我再次表示,我感谢你为指导我的孩子们进入成年期。老实说,我相信不受你影响他们将不会取得这么多。谢谢你足够爱他们不行,诚意,表示衷心的感谢 !

现在我需要的解决一些问题我觉得我们,是的你和我在一起,需要妥协的。

头号万达告诉我你说我真的伤害了我的感情是,”任何人都可以吐出四个孩子”。我有这种说法严重的问题,因为它是一个谎言数目 ;因为孩子们是我的他们不是你的血肉。是的你在那里为他们过去的 7 年左右的时间,但不会是你的孩子。它使孩子们,你的家人、 你爱的人和你部分负责的人,他们仍然总有 50%的基因代码、 无论你是多么的爱他们,你不能代替我。你不能改变他们的基因组成,就像我相信你想你可以抹去所有的痕迹,我从他们那里,你不能。我建议你来到这个术语,并试图理解的母亲和我观察将保持不变甚至当一个孩子分开他们亲生母亲从出生的孩子特别的羁绊。
请允许我给你举个例子从我自己的生活。你可能不知道这对我,但我没有采纳。燃烧的欲望,要找到我生物的家,我的根在很年轻的时候了为此目的,我 15 岁开始通过研究。我花了无数时间冲刷的”动产”(是的令人作呕的亚利桑那州用牲畜销售额列来发布通过公告的) 记录帮助很多其他人在亚利桑那州搜索黑社会,但永远不会成功地定位自己的公告。
夏琳出生后我成了真的痴迷于寻找我的亲生母亲,和很多的研究后我终于找到了她。
她所经历的这一天我打电话给她的第一次清楚地表明了母亲和儿童只有之间的连接通过时间不间断。

我的亲生母亲,6 月,(万达 6 月命名查克的母亲和我的亲生母亲) 是新型的女人只是空闲时间是当她是睡着了。她从来没有真正停止做。我第一次打电话给她的一天是她的生命中弥足珍贵的时刻之一在哪里她简单地停顿了一下,在电话上不少,在某些期待接到一个女儿她素未谋面。称之为一个通灵的连接,孪晶结构的单元格,或相信,血缘,她知道她安排收养婴儿正要打电话给她一天,她已经做好准备。

吉尔我不告诉你这些是为了让我们的孩子的母亲或继母的爱的比较。然而,至今拼命想解释说,在这个家庭里的每个人都将会更好更多的爱,而不是更多的痛苦。我从不会强迫我的孩子们做出抉择,你和我,我不是害怕结果,而是因为它是根本不必要为他们做出这样的选择。

现在是吉尔,我的孩子们几乎都是成年人,我意识到他们可以决定永远不会再跟我说话。你觉得他们会觉得当他们有他们自己的孩子和意识到的欺骗和卑鄙的战术,把我拒之门外自从你成为他们生活的重要组成部分?你相信他们会忽视你和罗宾曾对我多年来的糟糕的事情吗?

我打赌,成年后将会打开他们的眼睛,多么的意思是你一直在我身边。我老实说希望他们不会成为这么生气的指责,没有告诉他们我叫、 写道,或飞行 1200 英里,看到他们只来威胁你非法侵入罪名如果我不曾离开。吉尔,像你一样深深地伤害了我,我不希望这种痛苦在你身上。

我认为所有的你每天,虽然有时我充满了痛苦,最终导致愤怒,大部分为想你的深情。我想象你教学万达读音乐,鼓励 Daniel 追求戏剧,并抱着孙子我将永远不会举行,爱与崇拜他们显然值得。我想象你的痛苦,因为我一旦毡,紧密地忽略了可悲的是一个人教那性交是一些妇女鄙视,和那显示的感情或被公开深情是不恰当的即使对于男人和妻子。我想象你哭独自实现他们很快就会离开,即使你嫁给一个伟大的人,你很快就会很寂寞。

吉儿,我会永远和你一起欢迎任何积极的关系。将能够克服痛苦的过去,如果你将简单地伸出真诚的友谊对我。我们有很多共同点,我的孩子们告诉我这一次又一次。Daniel 告诉我说我把伤人的消息在你的答录机上留给你。老实说不记得想要伤害你 ;然而我知道在痛苦中的时候,我可以很小气。我知道这听起来像我在找借口,我不是。那里是没有任何借口,如果伤害了你 ;并且如果我做了我真的很抱歉。请发现它在你的心,能原谅我。

吉尔,拜托,我求你开始试着将我添加到您的生活。

无论你的选择,我祝你顺利。

此致敬礼
利亚

Welcome New Viewers


Won’t you take a few moments to read some of the posts below?

By sharing my experience I hope to help divorcing parents avoid my divorce pain, for the kids sake.

What I have gone through isn’t an isolated event;  it happens all over the world everyday and very often (In My Opinion) it happens by accident.  It is a slow process which is exacerbated by other influential adults in a child of divorce’ life talking negatively about a non-custodial parent.  The more rejecting the custodial parent is of the ex-spouse, the more hatred and contempt displayed by the parent a child lives with then the MORE likely that child will eventually reject the non-custodial parent.  This is due to fear of rejection by both parents.  If custodial parent can reject someone s/he promised to love honor and cherish so maliciously, what is to prevent custodial parent from rejecting the child if s/he displeases him/her? What would happen to that child if mom and dad both reject him/her? Would they be alone? Fear rules the depths of a child’s imagination.

My opinions are that there is no way to completely reverse Parental Alienation once the child is over 16-17 because too much has been lost, like the point of no return.

I believe that some families and people don’t even realize how serious the impact of their off the cuff remarks are to the listening child.

I believe that the custodial parent has a duty to maintain open contact with the other parent and to do everything possible to help the child retain the parent child relationship that existed during the marriage.

I FIRMLY believe that neither parent should move farther away than 30 miles.  This was my BIGGEST MISTAKE.

I believe that family courts should have some sort of public defender or other type of legal aid on a sliding scale to even out the playing field in these very important issues.  When one parent has all the resources and the other is destitute even the idea of custody being given to the poor parent is a concept the indigent parent wouldn’t want, because with the wealthy one the child will have their needs met by virtue of financial ability.  I recall a few visits where I had nothing but peanut butter and rice to feed 5 of us for a weekend.  It is an awful feeling to have nothing more to offer the children you love.

I believe that there should be a post divorce review, not in the courthouse, but with some type of case manager who retrieves various pieces of information and documents the judge may have ordered created or filed, receipts proving bills have been paid; child support and alimony payments should be processed electronically via a private party who would report immediately any failure of payment which can be settled swiftly without long drawn out contempt hearings.

I believe that family court judges should not interject their personal beliefs regarding the divorcing parties into their verdict.  In my case I had been too politically active as a Republican in a Democrat State; it hurt me in court, I am sure of it.

These are just some of my views and I hope you will read on to learn more about My Divorce Pain so it will prevent you from hurting too.

Leah Leanne Talley (Formerly Wesolowski)

Kids n Divorce Seminars = Changing Focus


Kids n Divorce Seminars = Changing Focus.

 

This is a great point. My kids DO interest me; whilst my former spouse… Not so much.

Dear Danny


https://lovesblues.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/flatstanley.pdf

I remember you got angry with me because you were told I never did your Flat Stanley project. I told you I did, you didn’t believe me…

I was going through my email today and I found the file, I wouldn’t lie to you then, even if they tell you I did, and I am not lying now…

I did the project.

I love you.

Mommy