Tag Archives: literature

The Nature of an Abusive Spouse/Narcissists


A snake asked a man walking up a steep mountain to carry him to the top.

The man said he couldn’t because the snake would bite him.

The snake promised to be good.

The man carried the snake to the top upon their arrival the snake immediately bit the man.

The man said you promised to be good.

The snake said you knew my nature all along and for some reason you expected me to not act in my nature, just because I promised.  All things will act in their true nature unless it benefits them to hide their true nature. I lived up to my true nature when you were no longer of use to me…

At that the man, who was a survivor and tired of all the poison in this world, flung the snake off the mountain where he was crushed to death by the fall. The man then sought out help for the poisoned bite.

After a time the man made it to a first aid station where he recieved help from people who cared for other mountain climbers.  Since they were brave enough to live in the mountains in order to help others the man would live and after some time would recover.

After his recovery he decided to always carry a snake bite kit with him in order to help anyone he may meet harmed by a snake.

I took an old proverb and added a happy ending.  It is what I hope we alienated family members can start doing as we move through life.  How many times have you overheard someone speaking ill of a non-custodial spouse?  How many times have you remained silent, even if you knew the other party wasn’t the “BAD PERSON” s/he was being made to seem like?  Vow to carry a snake bite kit with you, and to have the courage to toss the snakes off their mountains.             Leah Talley


 

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Parental Alienation in Music, Movies,Art & Literature


My Ears Hear Music Differently Now…

I believe this is because throughout my life, during my lowest times, it has always been music that sustained me. Music was the only thing I ever felt I could fully rely upon for support when I was grounded to my bedroom for a month; when I was in an uncertain or extremely stressful situation; when I was praising God in the choir; when I first really “made out” with someone; when I fell in love and when that fell apart, there was always a song in my heart. Now I actually find ways to fit lyrics to my pain. So I listen to music with my heart-break effecting my ears and find myself personalizing and redefining the meanings within.
I suppose we all do that. You can ask ten people what the meaning of a song or poem is and you will likely get ten different answers. (I think this is what angered me so in my college English courses; teachers want to assign definite, rigid meaning to a writers words, not allowing a reader to personalize the subject matter. In my opinion this is no way to experience any art). I recall a discussion I had late at night with my former spouse. He told me he received a poor grade in a literature class for not “realizing” a poem called (?)(I think) “Naming of the Parts” was about sex. He said the poem was about taking apart a firearm. I digress, my point is that it is normal to try to apply the meaning of art to something within the individual audience members experience. So now, everywhere I go I am reminded of the pain of my divorce in places where no painful memories or emotions existed before.
Pink Floyd has always been one of my favorite bands. I could listen to them all day. Here is an excerpt from “Two Suns in the Sunset” from “The Final Cut” album.
Like the moment when the brakes lock 

And you slide towards the big truck

”Oh no!” 
”[scream] Daddy, Daddy!” 

You stretch the frozen moments with your fear.

And you’ll never hear their voices

And you’ll never see their faces 

You have no recourse to the law anymore. 


And as the windshield melts 
My tears evaporate 

Leaving only charcoal to defend. 

Finally I understand the feelings of the few. 

Ashes and diamonds 

Foe and friend 

We were all equal in the end.

I used to think these words were about death in an automobile collision, now I think the wreck is a failed marriage and the loss of “two Suns” feels like death. Much like the loss of my 4 kids feels like a quadruple homicide in which their once deep love for me has been cut out like my beating heart.

In movies I can give you a prime example of a meaning changed for me forever. The Tom Cruise version of “War of the Worlds” to me has become a metaphor of a family struggling to work out custody, a step-father, a rebellious teenager and a helpless little girl are all issues faced by the Cruise father figure. His arrival at the home he once shared with his wife and children is so descriptive of the divorced home; an airliner has crashed into it nearly obliterating any resemblance of the home’s prior comfort, desperate, he is forced to spend the night there with his confused, scared, saddened children…

So you see, divorce, especially one as terrible as mine, changes your view of so much…
Leah Talley