Tag Archives: divorce

Daughter and Dad Ecstatic


hadn’t seen dad in 12 years  It was a birthday to remember for 13-year-old Rory Beth Blankenship.
The Oklahoma teen’s eyes were covered by two blindfolds for the ultimate surprise: being reunited with her father, James, after 12 years apart.

Advertisements

Parental Alienation Damages a Child DEEPLY, Wounds that will Affect the Adult S/He Becomes…


This past week I have been struggling about blogging my life. One of my kids says she hates reading about her family here… I know it hurts her and I know she probablly feels compelled to read anyway.

I feel I must continue blogging here because I run across so many people on a daily basis facing choices I once made; facing outcomes that might hurt all the people they love, and I think my experiences might help them avoid mistakes that can’t be undone mistakes known by experts in PAS & High Conflict Divorces (HCD)  shown, known and proven to cause serious, sometimes PERMANENT, psychological trauma to kids and parents in high conflict divorce cases (HCD}.

If you’ve been reading here before then you know that I feel that sometimes a parent isn’t alienating the child/ren on purpose; sometimes they are just so full of pain over the break-up they can’t bring themselves to be respectful…  Talking about the other parent in a positive light is actually impossible when one is hurting so badly… and alienation can occur subconsciously.  However, once a parent understands that their behavior, comments, and preventing  contact so that normal healthy parent/child relationships can continue to exist, is harming not just their ex, but also damaging the children, well then we move to a different level. We may be leaving kids in the care of a cruel and possibly dangerous person… One who doesn’t care about the child’s self esteem, or who places their own feelings above those others.  This is the person who should face sanctions, possibly criminal charges for child abuse.  That is EXACTLY what this behavior is; Child Abuse.

Signs of parental alienation include:

  • Bad-mouthing the other parent to the children
  • Limiting contact
  • Erasing the parent from the children’s lives
  • Forcing the children to reject the other parent
  • Forcing the children to choose sides
  • Creating the impression the other parent is dangerous (yes I just said the alternator is the dangerous one…)
  • Belittling comments to the other parent in front of the children
  • Calling the children to testify against the other parent
  • Convincing the children the other parent is creating financial hardship on the family
  • Spreading rumors and lies to community members which make it difficult, if not impossible, for the other parent to remain within the family’s previous shared community.
  • Making criminal allegations to law enforcement causing legal issues and sometimes incarceration when there is no validity to the charges; or the charges emanate from legal activity prior to divorce or separation.

My son believes that I stole from his father, he says he was shown proof.  I have asked to see this proof to no avail. I’m left to believe either it doesn’t exist, or may be easily refuted once I can see what was shown to him.  Proving a negative is almost impossible.  However making sense of documents,  providing legitimate reasons specific papers exist, is quite simple. Showing a kid some stock trades or line item purchases without giving background, or dates, (perhaps a married couple decision to make a purchase, now being twisted into a theft by the outsider) whatever the case may be, if their was a CRIME COMMITTED then the District Attorney would file charges, a criminal trial would ensue, and the truth would come out because unlike family court, criminal court has due process and burdens of proof to satisfy.  How is a child supposed to have the critical thinking skills required to question legitimacy of these types of accusations?  S/he can’t s/he just believes it or not.

MY HIGHEST CRIME:

ONE DAY while I was still married I did something out of anger that I knew was wrong. I charged 100 pizzas to his card and had them delivered to his former workplace with a nice greeting. $500.  is no felony. People enjoyed it and I felt a little less angry that day.

Yup I did that.

Leah

 

 

– See more at: http://www.natlawreview.com/article/parental-alienation#sthash.bSissCTq.dpuf

Painful Perspective ~ Child of Divorce


RaeLynn, a lovely country singer best known for her time on television’s “The Voice,” put her experience as a child of divorced parents to music allowing us all  insight to the emotional turmoil a child of divorce faces, sometimes well into adulthood..

“RaeLynn tells “People Magazine‘s” Danielle Anderson, “The whole point of family is to be a unit and to do a lot of things together and it’s just not that when your parents are divorced. I think there’s been a lot of divorce songs out there, but they’ve always been about the parents. They’ve never been from the kid’s perspective.”

She further reflects that seeing her parents on a court ordered schedule hurt her Dad as well, “My dad would pick me up every other Friday at 6, and drop me off by 6 on Sunday. Around 4 every Sunday, I remember him getting a little sad, because he wouldn’t get to see his baby for two weeks. I can’t imagine, when I become a mother, not being able to see my child for two weeks. That’s really hard, but that’s the truth, and that’s the normal for a lot of kids in divorced homes. They have to split their time and split their love. It really is not that fair, but it’s a lot of our normal and our truth.”

For more of her interview PLUS a live performance video of the song “Love Triangle” Click here.

official video RaeLynn - Love triangle

Things I Do That Get Me Through and Other Coping Mechanisms


  Find Humor Where You Can

As you might be realizing by now, this divorce is taking a toll.  I have to come up with ways of finding humor where none really should exist:

  • One day I gave my kids permission to sing “Chuck” in the name game song (previously forbidden). Sing along now, “Chuck, duck, bo buck fee fie fo F*&#….”
  • I named my vacuum cleaner after the Step-Mom, yeah, it’s a Dyson so Jill never loses suction.
  • I remember the great times I had with my whole family, yes, even the former husband.
  • I think about the day my kids discover that they were used like pawns, fodder, just to hurt me.
  • I try to imagine the day that the Former Spouse meets St. Peter, in my imagination his making up rationalizations for his treatment of me is riotously funny.
  • I pretend I am in disguise and watching my son in a play.
  • I sing songs loudly which I dedicate to Chuck, Jill, her sister Robin, and my once monster-in-law: some great ones are
    • “Mean” by Taylor Swift and
    • “Pigs, Three Different Ones” by Pink Floyd.
  • I imagine Jill actually catches him being unfaithful.
  • but my favorite one is the one where these guys just get over hurting me and decide to work together as an extended family.

UPDATE AUGUST 29, 2016

I’m writing a documentary about Television and movies and their role in Parental Alienation.  The focus will be how society is almost encouraging the breakdown of family, and its long tern effect upon adult children.

Write me to help out please.

Family Courts are failing to enforce their own orders!


A general view of The Ministry of Justice building Joanna Morris / Thursday 3 December 2015 / News Published Thursday 3 December 2015 / News THE family courts are damaging children and vulnerable families by failing to enforce their own orders, says a Darlington woman. The woman, who did not want to be named, and […]

via ‘They’re damaging children’ – Family courts criticised for failing to enforce their own orders! — World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum.

Finally A Chance To Be Heard


MainStreamMedia Wants to Hear about Your Case!

CALLING All Women Whose Kids Were Taken Away & Given to Fathers: MainStreamMedia (MSM) Is Listening!

Many National Mainstream Media Investigative Journalists, both TV and print, have recently contacted Cindy Dumas, Director of The Women’s Coalition, about the epidemic of children taken from women and given to fathers, many of whom are physically or sexually abusive.

MSM wants to know the extent of the crisis so this social media event has been set up for all women to get their voices heard. Editors, reporters and producers will be reading the posts and comments so please let them know how this has negatively impacted your life!

There are three ways you can participate:
1. Join the event and post about your case.
2. Comment, Like and SHARE posts
3. Send an email to

email: TheWomensCoalitionPAC@gmail.com

 with a one page or less summary of your case. Put MSM in the subject line. [TWC will keep name confidential if it is requested.]

NOTE: It can be very brief if you’re short on time, something like:
“I am my children’s primary bond, but they were taken away from me when they were 8 and 10 and sole custody was given to the father who was abusive to them. I have been restricted to supervised visits and have been bankrupted fighting for them. We have been destroyed by the system.”
If you sent one for the UN Complaint, you can use that summary.
If you want anonymity TWC will post it for you.
Use a photo for more impact.

WHO should participate: Any woman who was the primary nurturer of her child(ren) and lost primary custody to a father (whether he was abusive or not)–even if joint custody was awarded–without a fair hearing.

NOTE: One journalist is especially interested in Massachusetts cases and two are especially interested in cases where the mothers went into hiding.

ONE PAGE SUMMARY (optional):
• You were/are the primary nurturing parent
• How many children were taken
• What false accusations were used
• What kind of visitation you got, if any
• How long you went without seeing your kids
• What kind of abuse was involved, if any
• Whether your evidence was covered up or disregarded
• Whether you were coerced into silence; by whom
• Which officials involved: DA’s, law enforcement, social services, family court officials, psychologists, therapists, etc. (names optional);
• Whether you/your kids suffered trauma symptoms
• Whether you were financially devastated
• Whether your career was damaged or destroyed
• How you feel about what was done to you and your children

Please SHARE this event so MSM is deluged with cases!!

(bloggers opinion, this should be an issue of injustice regardless of sex)