California businessman Steven Zinnel, age 50, thought he could get away with cheating his wife, his two teenage children, and the bankruptcy court, but he was wrong….boy was he wrong! Zinnel and his wife, of Gold River, separated in 1999. By 2001 their uncoupling got even more ugly when he told his wife she would […]
ExposedinLondon has learnt how a city financier and an expert in finance has been misleading the high court, breaching high court orders and defrauded the ex-wife to wipe out the value of family assets worth Millions of Pounds to Nothing in their divorce. The ex-wife Ms. Williams, despite having tried to seek help from the courts [v…]
This past week I have been struggling about blogging my life. One of my kids says she hates reading about her family here… I know it hurts her and I know she probablly feels compelled to read anyway.
I feel I must continue blogging here because I run across so many people on a daily basis facing choices I once made; facing outcomes that might hurt all the people they love, and I think my experiences might help them avoid mistakes that can’t be undone mistakes known by experts in PAS & High Conflict Divorces (HCD) shown, known and proven to cause serious, sometimes PERMANENT, psychological trauma to kids and parents in high conflict divorce cases (HCD}.
If you’ve been reading here before then you know that I feel that sometimes a parent isn’t alienating the child/ren on purpose; sometimes they are just so full of pain over the break-up they can’t bring themselves to be respectful… Talking about the other parent in a positive light is actually impossible when one is hurting so badly… and alienation can occur subconsciously. However, once a parent understands that their behavior, comments, and preventing contact so that normal healthy parent/child relationships can continue to exist, is harming not just their ex, but also damaging the children, well then we move to a different level. We may be leaving kids in the care of a cruel and possibly dangerous person… One who doesn’t care about the child’s self esteem, or who places their own feelings above those others. This is the person who should face sanctions, possibly criminal charges for child abuse. That is EXACTLY what this behavior is; Child Abuse.
Signs of parental alienation include:
- Bad-mouthing the other parent to the children
- Limiting contact
- Erasing the parent from the children’s lives
- Forcing the children to reject the other parent
- Forcing the children to choose sides
- Creating the impression the other parent is dangerous (yes I just said the alternator is the dangerous one…)
- Belittling comments to the other parent in front of the children
- Calling the children to testify against the other parent
- Convincing the children the other parent is creating financial hardship on the family
- Spreading rumors and lies to community members which make it difficult, if not impossible, for the other parent to remain within the family’s previous shared community.
- Making criminal allegations to law enforcement causing legal issues and sometimes incarceration when there is no validity to the charges; or the charges emanate from legal activity prior to divorce or separation.
My son believes that I stole from his father, he says he was shown proof. I have asked to see this proof to no avail. I’m left to believe either it doesn’t exist, or may be easily refuted once I can see what was shown to him. Proving a negative is almost impossible. However making sense of documents, providing legitimate reasons specific papers exist, is quite simple. Showing a kid some stock trades or line item purchases without giving background, or dates, (perhaps a married couple decision to make a purchase, now being twisted into a theft by the outsider) whatever the case may be, if their was a CRIME COMMITTED then the District Attorney would file charges, a criminal trial would ensue, and the truth would come out because unlike family court, criminal court has due process and burdens of proof to satisfy. How is a child supposed to have the critical thinking skills required to question legitimacy of these types of accusations? S/he can’t s/he just believes it or not.
MY HIGHEST CRIME:
ONE DAY while I was still married I did something out of anger that I knew was wrong. I charged 100 pizzas to his card and had them delivered to his former workplace with a nice greeting. $500. is no felony. People enjoyed it and I felt a little less angry that day.
Yup I did that.
A general view of The Ministry of Justice building Joanna Morris / Thursday 3 December 2015 / News Published Thursday 3 December 2015 / News THE family courts are damaging children and vulnerable families by failing to enforce their own orders, says a Darlington woman. The woman, who did not want to be named, and […]
I AM THE ALIENATOR
by Karen Woodall
I am an alienator. You know me well. You lived with me once and you witnessed my behavior patterns but you did not spend time studying and internalizing them. I know your behavior patterns better than you know them yourself. I know how to measure you, test you and control you. I know what your hooks are and I know that the depth of the love for your children is a weakness I can exploit. I am an emotional terrorist. I will terrify you into submission. You will do as I tell you to do, if you do not, I will take your children away.
I am an alienator, you didn’t notice that when we lived together but I began my work long before we went our separate ways. I created fissures and fractures within our family and I managed and manipulated reality, though for a long time you did not notice that.
I am an alienator, at times in the past you felt a chill wind blow through you when my moods changed as I raged and then sweet talked you to smooth the ripples in your growing awareness. My mind is distorted but the projection of shadows causes you to believe it is yours which has failed you. Eventually you came to believe that it was you and not I who was crazy. You shivered as I turned down the gas light.
When you appeal to the outside world for assistance I will turn my most charming face to the sun and open my arms wide and beseech them to believe that I only want the best for my children. I will widen my eyes and up turn my palms and say ‘what can I do when they don’t want to see you’ and suck into my airspace all those who attempt to bring change to the lives of the weapons I know I can use.
My children are assets, collateral, extensions of plans that I make to wreak my revenge upon people who challenge my views or attempt to remove the control that I have in my life.
My children are satellites orbiting sunshine coming only from me – you could never compete with the warmth that I wind around each of their hearts so that only my love is enough; making yours surplus, not needed, discarded like clothes that you bought and I won’t let them wear.
I am all that they need.
You are not.
When our love ended my rage recruited our children to a campaign of
revenge that joins us together against you.
In my mind your betrayal awakened the traumas of people long dead and ignited the fuse that lead to the bomb that blew up our lives. Now, the souls of our children are hostage to wrongs which come howling from hell and you are helpless to hold back the tide which will sweep you and they to the death that is living with losing your children whilst they are still breathing. Your loss not mine which you and not I will have to survive.
Sometimes you mirror me, two perfect projections that weave webs of destruction that sever our children in two, one side light, one side dark, you there in the shadows.
But mostly it is because I cannot see my behaviours, I am blind to the sight of myself in the mirror. The only reflection I need is the love of my children to feed me and give me a sense of my self which I lost even before I was born.
I am the alienator, annihilator, terminator. My aim is to end, by fair means or foul, your place in the hearts and the lives of your children.
I am easily spotted by those who know me but invisible to those who do not. You will spend your time, your energy and money telling them I am behind this whilst I smile and continue to shred the trust our children once held in you. I am an alienator even when I do not know it and the failure to see the shadows I cast in the projections I throw onto you, is the fault of a system so blinded by bias it is frozen like the minds of our children, the children being harmed right under the noses of those who should know how to help them but sadly, do not.
In the plain sight of you and of them, the lives of the children you love are stolen, erased and extinguished.
And your anguish and pain are the gifts that I treasure.
And your suffering compensates for the things I perceive you to have done.
And whilst chaos reigns and the system colludes with my delusions, the power I seek remains mine.
Along with the children.
Whose eyes are wide open but able to see nothing at all.
I was texting my daughter (the only one that still talks to me) the other night. She says that all this stuff is private and I shouldn’t publish it.
I really think over the things I publish, I have prayed about it, I have even discussed it with an attorney and come to the conclusion that the only thing left for me to do it to show the hypocrisy, and give public evidence of the pain I have endured now for 12 years. I blog here not just to regain some of my own lost pride, but also because I FIRMLY believe that Parental Alienation can only be prevented if one knows what to look for.
I was BLINDSIDED by this. I never imagined the children I gave birth to could hate me so harshly, and so undeservedly. I was a good mother. I tried very hard to teach my children in ways that would have meaning, not just by lecture or spanking, but by demonstrating how actions have consequences.
My children have taught me that in divorce leaving the state is the absolute WORST IDEA anyone can have. You MUST BE THERE for them even if it is not in the same house. For that mistake I will pay continuously for the rest of my life.
I can’t keep reaching out to them, to be hung up on, or avoid writing the truth here because it is embarrassing. TO BAD!
A) I never wanted to be divorced; he filed against me.
B) I signed our IRS documents shortly after the divorce, HE DIDN’T FILE them, HE disobeyed the courts order, not me.
C) I had to pay private mortgage interest rates because he left my name on our home in Alabama for 6 years the rate of interest I was paying was 10.5% while the bank rate was around 5%.
D) I couldn’t go back to school for two years because of his failure to file. Until I finally consulted the IRS and an attorney who told me that since he did not comply with the judge’s 30 day mandate I was no longer obligated to wait, I could file on my own, and I did.
E) When American Express sued him his defense was that I was mental and overspent. However, all the items I bought he enjoys.
F) If I was mental as he says, how is it that he was able or even RIGHT to have me sign a “Quit Claim” deed on our home while I was in the hospital voluntarily seeking help for what I can only describe as a “breakdown”?
G) The religious aspects of this really tick me off, I have been avoiding writing about them, but there will be a lot about that coming soon. Anyway, he is a born Catholic. Divorces are not acceptable, and his divorce, and subsequent remarriage, according to Doctrine makes him (and by default me) an adulterer in the eyes of the Catholic Church. So how does he have the nerve to take Holy Communion? I don’t. I won’t until I get a blessing to do so by a priest I am seeing for counseling over all this. So far, he has not said I can receive communion. PLUS Chuck is a Knight of Columbus and a Past Grand Knight, who marches in Parades in full regalia which kind of makes me want to barf.
G) GEE how can he make this right? Admit to the kids he lied to them about me, that HE refused me re-admittance to the home, he wanted the divorce and that he systematically chased me out of Alabama… That he did not follow the court order, that HE kept my letters and gifts from them so they would think I was not thinking about them ALL THE TIME (which I was). That I LOVE THEM SO MUCH and he knows it, and they should too. FINALLY he needs to pay me the money I was awarded in our divorce.
I am not holding my breath,. But I am so GLAD that there is a FIRST AMENDMENT.