Category Archives: recovery

The Nature of an Abusive Spouse/Narcissists


A snake asked a man walking up a steep mountain to carry him to the top.

The man said he couldn’t because the snake would bite him.

The snake promised to be good.

The man carried the snake to the top upon their arrival the snake immediately bit the man.

The man said you promised to be good.

The snake said you knew my nature all along and for some reason you expected me to not act in my nature, just because I promised.  All things will act in their true nature unless it benefits them to hide their true nature. I lived up to my true nature when you were no longer of use to me…

At that the man, who was a survivor and tired of all the poison in this world, flung the snake off the mountain where he was crushed to death by the fall. The man then sought out help for the poisoned bite.

After a time the man made it to a first aid station where he recieved help from people who cared for other mountain climbers.  Since they were brave enough to live in the mountains in order to help others the man would live and after some time would recover.

After his recovery he decided to always carry a snake bite kit with him in order to help anyone he may meet harmed by a snake.

I took an old proverb and added a happy ending.  It is what I hope we alienated family members can start doing as we move through life.  How many times have you overheard someone speaking ill of a non-custodial spouse?  How many times have you remained silent, even if you knew the other party wasn’t the “BAD PERSON” s/he was being made to seem like?  Vow to carry a snake bite kit with you, and to have the courage to toss the snakes off their mountains.             Leah Talley


 

Advertisements

Daughter and Dad Ecstatic


hadn’t seen dad in 12 years  It was a birthday to remember for 13-year-old Rory Beth Blankenship.
The Oklahoma teen’s eyes were covered by two blindfolds for the ultimate surprise: being reunited with her father, James, after 12 years apart.

When A Song Breaks Your Heart and Time Makes You LOVE IT


 

I am the “Momma” in this song.

The first time I heard it I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. It hurt…

Since then, due a lot to counseling and input from friends who’s parents divorced, I have come to view this song not as an attempt to hurt anyone, but instead I can simply appreciate the song for what it is; beautiful like the person who wrote it.

Momma a3579273866_2 From “Not A Hipster”

License copyright 2013 wanda june wesolowski all rights reserved

 

“Baby girl, you’d better call your momma tonight
Baby girl, tell your momma that you’re doing alright”

I don’t know where to go from here, I
Haven’t seen momma in a year
Why can’t she see I don’t wanna
Hear it, not tonight?

“Baby girl, your momma bought you something today.”
“Baby girl, don’t you have something that you wanna say?”

I don’t know if I can thank you for
Trying to make up after losing that War
Momma, buying love won’t fix us, not tonight

And I know you’re trying so hard
All the gifts & all the birthday cards
Momma, you just need to give me time to think
To grow
To blink
And know

I think I’d better call my momma tonight….

Released 01 August 2013
Tags
Tags: Parental Alienation syndrome, Divorce, child abuse, PAS, folk, independent, songwriter, ukulele, madison, alabama, Huntsville
License copyright 2013 wanda june wesolowski all rights reserved

USED with Permission

BOOK RECOMENDATION

Being Stuck by Walter Singleton


https://waltersingletons.wordpress.com/Well, today I feel stuck. Just absolutely stuck. The pain of missing my children is always there to some degree, but today more than anything I feel completely FRUSTRATED. Helpless. I know where my…

Source: 9/20/16 – Being Stuck

Parental Alienation is TRAUMA


Losing A Parent is Childhood Trauma

The popular press has reported many stories about adults who suddenly remember having been abused as children. Some media reports have emphasized the unusual circumstances or content of such recovered memories while other reports have declared that the “recovery” of memories of abuse is false for a variety of reasons. Little in the press, however, has dealt with the science relating to memories of childhood trauma. 

The International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies

is working on life affecting issues arising from trauma exposure of many origins.  According to their research memories can not only be false, but they can be planted by others!

Q: Are Recovered Memories Always Accurate?

Scientists believe that recovered memories – including recovered memories of childhood trauma – are not always accurate. When people remember childhood trauma and later say their memory was wrong, there is no way to know which memory was accurate – the one that claims the trauma happened or the one that claims it did not.

Q: How Might False Memories Develop?

A great deal of laboratory research involving normal people in everyday situations demonstrates that memory is not perfect. Evidence shows that memory can be influenced by other people and situations; that people can make up stories to fill in memory gaps, and that people can be persuaded to believe they heard, saw or experienced events that did not really happen. Studies also reveal that people who have inaccurate memories can strongly believe they are true.

Sad man in space
Alone in Space

 

Q: Is it Possible to Forget Childhood Trauma?

People forget names, dates, faces and even entire events all the time. But is it possible to forget terrible experiences such as being raped? Or beaten? The answer is yes – under certain circumstances. For more than a hundred years, doctors, scientists and other observers have reported the connection between trauma and forgetting. But only in the past 10 years have scientific studies demonstrated a connection between childhood trauma and amnesia.

Most scientists agree that memories from infancy and early childhood – under the age of two or three – are unlikely to be remembered. Research shows that many adults who remember being sexually abused as children experienced a period when they did not remember the abuse. Scientists also have studied child victims at the time of a documented traumatic event, such as sexual abuse, and then measured how often the victims forget these events as they become adults. They discovered that some people do forget the traumatic experiences they had in childhood, even though it was established fact that the traumatic events occurred.

Q: What Makes People Remember a Traumatic Event after Such a Long Delay?

At the time of a traumatic event, the mind makes many associations with the feelings, sights, sounds, smells, taste and touch connected with the trauma. Later, similar sensations may trigger a memory of the event. While some people first remember past traumatic events during therapy, most people begin having traumatic memories out side therapy.

A variety of experiences can trigger the recall. Reading stories about other people’s trauma, watching television programs that depict traumatic events similar to the viewer’s past ex perience, experiencing a disturbing event in the present, or sitting down with family and reminiscing about a terrible shared episode – for some people, these kinds of experiences can open the floodgates of frightful and horrible memories.

My Nightmare… April 16, 2016


Dear God 1


April 16, 2016

Believing it to be the day of catastrophe in America a Mother, estranged from her 4 beloved children sent a group text to all four. “My wonderful children” she wrote. “I want you to know that I love you all no matter what, and I always will, no matter what. With deep love, Mommy”.
Within a minute 2 of her children replied expressing their love and forgiveness of past events, while the other two remained silent after reading her declaration of love for them, their hearts so filled with anger and their minds so filled with hate as a direct result of parental alienation caused in part by their father, grandmother and other family members, that they knew their silence would wound their estranged mother again. And so, willfully, and stubbornly they remained silent not telling their mother that they had any feelings for her at all. Their last thoughts were of anger toward her as the explosion rocked North America Killing most of it’s inhabitants almost instantly.
Time doesn’t exist in Heaven or Hell. The time it took to sort out the casualties of this terrible mass death may have been a blink of an eye or taken years, who knows.
As it turned out the forgiveness given to their mother by the first two children meant they would spend eternity in heaven. The hate of silence the other two showed their mother left them in hell.

I guess that left the mother …


I’m divorced since 10/2002. I was with my former for 16 years. In 2 years my time with him will be as long as my absence from him; by now I think that I should be able to function somewhat normally on a day to day basis, but that simply isn’t the case. .

People say, Give them time, they will figure it out, they will come around… that has not been MY EXPERIENCE.

How much longer will I feel this pain? My mother says that I need to move on, for my future and sanity; logically this is correct but I have told you all I can no more forget any of my children than I could cut off my own arm.

I know the guy in the movie ‘128 Hours’ did cut off his own upper arm in order to survive but the rocks he was stuck amongst didn’t call him from time to time, or talk trash about him to people who then repeated the terrible things, still being said about you 14 years later, to you because they felt ‘YOU SHOULD KNOW’…   Most recently I was told my ex told my grandaughter’s daddy that my current husband and I were having an affair when I was married to my ex… Lies, I never met my current hubby till 2/17/08. How do you fight lies like this?

I’m dying a little every day. I need help and I don’t know where to turn. I am so worried about all of my Children’s life as adults. I’m so depressed. Leah