Category Archives: reconsile

Daughter and Dad Ecstatic


hadn’t seen dad in 12 years  It was a birthday to remember for 13-year-old Rory Beth Blankenship.
The Oklahoma teen’s eyes were covered by two blindfolds for the ultimate surprise: being reunited with her father, James, after 12 years apart.

Advertisements

When A Song Breaks Your Heart and Time Makes You LOVE IT


 

I am the “Momma” in this song.

The first time I heard it I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. It hurt…

Since then, due a lot to counseling and input from friends who’s parents divorced, I have come to view this song not as an attempt to hurt anyone, but instead I can simply appreciate the song for what it is; beautiful like the person who wrote it.

Momma a3579273866_2 From “Not A Hipster”

License copyright 2013 wanda june wesolowski all rights reserved

 

“Baby girl, you’d better call your momma tonight
Baby girl, tell your momma that you’re doing alright”

I don’t know where to go from here, I
Haven’t seen momma in a year
Why can’t she see I don’t wanna
Hear it, not tonight?

“Baby girl, your momma bought you something today.”
“Baby girl, don’t you have something that you wanna say?”

I don’t know if I can thank you for
Trying to make up after losing that War
Momma, buying love won’t fix us, not tonight

And I know you’re trying so hard
All the gifts & all the birthday cards
Momma, you just need to give me time to think
To grow
To blink
And know

I think I’d better call my momma tonight….

Released 01 August 2013
Tags
Tags: Parental Alienation syndrome, Divorce, child abuse, PAS, folk, independent, songwriter, ukulele, madison, alabama, Huntsville
License copyright 2013 wanda june wesolowski all rights reserved

USED with Permission

BOOK RECOMENDATION

Divorce, kids, and what they need to know … — Kimela Kluthe, LMFT


Don’t drown your kids in your memories

So you’re going through a divorce and one of you really is the victim – or so you think. You were cheated on. You were abused. I get it. You were wronged in some way. And you have children with this person … We all know that we’re not supposed to tell our kids the […]

via Divorce, kids, and what they need to know … — Kimela Kluthe, LMFT

A Letter From Before My Divorce


Wesolowski, Charles 6/10/02
To: Charles.wesolowski@XXXX.com
charles.wesolowski@XXXX.com

Hi Chuck,

After that phone call I had a lot of time to think; in fact, I can’t sleep for all the thinking I am doing.

You clever little man, puting all the things in your name; like the house and the cars, and then really, honestly, pretending like this was all my doing. You have been planning this divorce for a long time. Haven’t you?

I gave you my best years. I bore four children and let you name them. I took your inattention for over a decade. I plead with you, I argued with you and finally I began to nag at you to do the things that most husbands do automatically. Things like get the sox off the sofa, change lightbulbs, mow lawns, and most importantly to make love to me, and for over a decade my requests, pleas, and finally nagging went unheaded. When I think of all the nights I lie awake in bed while you were downstairs talking to Trent on the phone; or playing a PC game, or reading a book, or perhaps watching the TV… and I all I wanted was to feel your love… but you never touched me on those nights… It makes me feel so utterly small. Oh my the night that I really did beg you to come make love to me. And I was rebuffed by you, and a few hours later, as I lie in bed awake pining for your touch to hear the sound of soft porn music coming from the TV, to quietly tiptoe down the hall and see you on the couch masturbating… Do you have any idea how hurt I was that night, and how certian I was then that you really didn’t love me. Not the way a husband loves his wife.

You use the words “I love you” so frequently when you talk to me on the phone; even now after you have filed for a divorce from me, even now you tell me everytime we talk that you love me… and then you tell me that I do not know what love is. The fact of the matter is that I DO know what love is. Love is grace, it is powerful, and it complles us (humans) to do the right thing by each other. Love ensures us that we do not thirst for a human touch when we have true love… Love ensures us that when we are sad we are held; when we are happy we laugh, and when we are angry we know that the power that is love will not go away simply because anger has clouded our judgement. True love does not accept divorce as any type of answer to life’s problems, be they financial or otherwise. True love does not allow its children to be torn apart inside… Taken from one parent’s home to the other… A person who loves their children more than they love themselves does NOT do this to their kids. A selfish person divorces because he or she can not take the full responsibility of the committment they made to thier spouse and the child at the time it was conceived. The responsibility to give the child THE BEST upbringing possible with the MOST amount of Love.

Having the children here over the weekend made me realize once again how utterly selfish you are. You do not care what is best for them and once again you place YOUR NEEDS above the needs of your children and also me. I NEED my children to be happy. Our children NEED to feel my love every day; not when the courts so deem it. They need MY LOVE all the time. I know that you know this is true. They need YOUR LOVE every day as well. I can not be a willing participant in this divorce. This will cause irreprable harm to our kids. I can see it taking it’s toll already. I am once again pleading with you to STOP THIS NOW.

I can not, in good conscious, just sit back and let you tear four lives to pieces. You are not acting with the grace of God. Let he who lives without sin cast the first stone. Please come to your senses and stop this immediately. Even if you are not going to be “happy” for the next 18 years (or whatever); it is your job to make sure your children are happy. I will never accept a divorce. I know this is NOT the answer; I have committed my life to my children for most of the past 13 years and I will not willingly participate in something I know will harm them permanently like this divorce is doing and will continue to hurt them.

You always want things your way, but this is not something I am willing to budge on. I am not giving you a divorce and will fight it with every breath in my body. Children need 2 parents, not a granny and a part time dad. Your depriving me of being with my kids is very harmful to them. My son cried in my arms both days saying he wants to be with me. I know that he needs his mommy right now. I know all of my kids need their Mom right now. And I also know that I am their mother. Your mother is NOT.

~ ~ ~ ~

Resolution…

Immediately revoke the request for a divorce. Request a refund of the money not used from your retainer.

Tell your mother to go back to her own life. I will take care of getting my kids to and from where they need to be and I will do their homework with them, and I do not need her help – at all.

Come with me to talk to Rick on Tuesday about the Ranch house. Use the refund to place the money on that lot to hold it until we sell our house.

Start working WITH ME to clear out all the stuff we do not need anylonger, we can have Garage sales every day if we need to and just put that money toward debt and make you feel better. Stop making it a challenge to see who can do the least.

Start paying exclusive attention to each other in the bedroom for at least 1/2 hour a day. Touching each other, and making each other feel physically good. EQUALLY.

Drop the Saco and I will drop the HOA and we call it even mistakes with the divorce included and we go on. We work around it. We go to a local counsellor if we need to until retrovallie, and we just keep working on it. If it was easy 2 out of 3 couples would not be breaking up. But so what. We can do this.

~ ~ ~ ~

Let me know Monday.

Make the right decision.

I do love you, you are my best friend. Stop hurting me.

The difference between tattooed people and those without tattoos is tattoed people don’t care if you have a tattoo.